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Cara Delevingne has reflected on her mental health struggles and addiction battle after sparking concern with a series of erratic incidents last year.
The model, 30, worried fans when she made several troubled appearances in public and has now revealed that she secretly checked into rehab after the ‘heartbreaking’ images gave her a wake up call.
Speaking to Vogue magazine as their April cover star, she confessed that she hadn’t been ‘ready’ to tackle her demons before but after finding herself in a ‘bad place’ she realised she needed to prioritise her recovery.
She explained: ‘I’ve had interventions of a sort, but I wasn’t ready. That’s the problem.
‘If you’re not face-first on the floor and ready to get up again, you won’t. At that point, I really was… I hadn’t seen a therapist in three years. I just kind of pushed everyone away, which made me realize how much I was in a bad place.’
Candid: Cara Delevingne has reflected on her mental health and addiction battle after sparking concern with a series of erratic incidents last year
Cara continued: ‘I always thought that the work needs to be done when the times are bad, but actually the work needs to be done when they’re good.
‘The work needs to be done consistently. It’s never going to be fixed or fully healed but I’m okay with that, and that’s the difference.’
Cara’s wellbeing had been at the forefront of her friends and family’s concern last year after she was pictured behaving erratically on various occasions.
The model explained that she had been lying to herself about her health and it wasn’t until she saw herself in the photographs that she realised she needed help.
‘I hadn’t slept. I was not okay,’ she explained. ‘It’s heartbreaking because I thought I was having fun, but at some point it was like, “Okay, I don’t look well.”
‘You know, sometimes you need a reality check, so in a way those pictures were something to be grateful for.’
At the time, Cara was pictured being visited by friends and family and Cara explained that it made her realise how loved she is.
She confessed that she had many ‘shallow’ relationships because she would hold back on her emotions so as not to ‘burden’ anyone and because of her fear of abandonment.
Confession: Speaking to Vogue magazine as their April cover star, she confessed: ‘I’ve had interventions of a sort, but I wasn’t ready. That’s the problem’
Concerning: The model, 30, worried fans when she made several troubled appearances (pictured in September) and revealed the ‘heartbreaking’ images gave her a wake up call
‘If you ask any of my friends, they would say they’d never seen me cry,’ she confessed.
‘From September, I just needed support. I needed to start reaching out. And my old friends I’ve known since I was 13, they all came over and we started crying. They looked at me and said, “You deserve a chance to have joy.”‘
Through her work in therapy, Cara realised that she needed to stop chasing the idea of a ‘quick fix’ to healing and has committed to following the 12-step programme.
She explained: ‘Before I was always into the quick fix of healing, going to a weeklong retreat or to a course for trauma, say, and that helped for a minute, but it didn’t ever really get to the nitty-gritty, the deeper stuff.
‘This time I realized that 12-step treatment was the best thing, and it was about not being ashamed of that. The community made a huge difference. The opposite of addiction is connection, and I really found that in 12-step.’
While Cara has made peace with the fact that her journey won’t be straight forward she struggles with the fact that outsiders don’t understand.
She shared her frustrations at people simplifying her struggles, noting that her recovery won’t happen ‘overnight’ and she’s aware it will be a lifelong commitment.
Struggle: The model explained that she had been lying to herself about her health and it wasn’t until she saw herself in the photographs that she realised she needed help
She explained: ‘This process obviously has its ups and downs, but I’ve started realizing so much. People want my story to be this after-school special where I just say, “Oh look, I was an addict, and now I’m sober and that’s it.”
‘And it’s not as simple as that. It doesn’t happen overnight…. Of course I want things to be instant – I think this generation especially, we want things to happen quickly—but I’ve had to dig deeper.’
READ MORE: Where it all went wrong for Cara Delevingne: How she overcame mother’s heroin addiction to find fame… before crashing back to earth
Reflecting on how her mental health impacted her addiction issues she explained that she fell into a deep depression during lockdown.
She started her quarantine in Los Angeles with Ashley Benson, her then girlfriend of almost two years but when the couple split: ‘I was alone, really alone…it was a low point.’
‘I just had a complete existential crisis. All my sense of belonging, all my validation—my identity, everything—was so wrapped up in work. And when that was gone, I felt like I had no purpose. I just wasn’t worth anything without work, and that was scary.
‘I got very wrapped up in misery, wallowing, and partying. It was a really sad time.’
It is certainly a sad chapter in the story of Cara’s life – which has already been filled with many twists, turns, and excitement.
As well as her modeling career, Cara also dove into the acting industry and graced the big screen numerous times, racked up a slew of celebrity gal pals, designed her own collection of handbags with Mulberry, released a novel, and launched her own champagne brand with her sisters – which are just some of the many accomplishments she achieved.
But what should have been an illustrious career was plagued with controversy and scandal; rumors have swirled for years that Cara, who has previously been described by friends as ‘the life of the party,’ was using drugs – and she has admitted to struggling with depression and said she once considered suicide during the height of her fame.
Before breaking out into the scene, the actress’ childhood wasn’t much easier. Her socialite mother, who had connections to the royal family, played the part of high society debutante to the outside world, but behind the scenes, she struggled with a heroin addiction and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Vogue’s April 2023 issue is available on newsstands nationwide on March 21.
Cara, who identifies as pansexual, said she spent years coming to terms with her sexuality, which resulted in her suffering from mental health issues of her own starting at age 15, with her later revealing that she practiced in self harm as a teen.
It comes after Cara revealed she will be ‘taking time to heal’ and enjoy the next chapter of her life after ‘things clicked’ with her milestone 30th birthday.
Now 2023 is in full swing, Cara says she is looking ahead with a fresher outlook and is looking to be ‘more gentle’ to herself after doing ‘so much for other people’s approval and love’.
Speaking to Entertainment Tonight, she admitted she’s found herself asking: ‘Why? That doesn’t matter and it’s not going to make you love yourself more. It just doesn’t.’
Learning from her life experience and maturity in her 30s, she’s now ‘taking the time to heal and focus on myself and what I want to do’.
She added: ‘What I really want to do, not for other people’s sake but for my own. It’s just really nice.’
She noted that a lot of things ‘clicked’ with her milestone birthday in August last year, and her priorities shifted while she has become ‘more gentle’ and kind to herself.
She explained: ‘I think after turning 30, there was a lot that clicked.
‘I think my 20s were brilliant, but there were a lot of different things I wanted to focus on.
‘I think there was a part of me that still felt, like, I was insecure in my teenage years and questioning and a bit of like self-doubt all the time.
‘[But] that is a real thing, about women being in their prime in their 30s? I just don’t care anymore.
Exes: Cara spoke about splitting from girlfriend of two years Ashley Benson during the pandemic, noting: ‘I was alone, really alone…it was a low point’ (pictured in 2020)
‘I’m a lot more gentle with myself and nice to myself and I think something’s changed this year, for sure.’
Before her 30th birthday, Cara revealed she was looking forward to reaching the milestone age – though she admitted that could have changed when she actually got there.
She said: ‘Getting older is so nice. I’m so excited, but call me on the day and see how I’m doing – I’ll probably cry.’
Vogue’s April 2023 issue is available on newsstands nationwide on March 21.
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