JANA HOCKING: To all the married women who feel threatened by me, address your insecurities

This is a public service announcement for all the women out there who are married and feel threatened by us single females.

Are you ready? I’m going to be perfectly blunt about it. 

We do NOT want to f**k your husband.

As a perennially single gal, I’ve had to build a thick skin, but I’m tired of getting icy glares from wives at parties if I’m talking to your husband. 

I’m over being excluded from dinners because I once laughed too hard at a joke your husband made. I’m sick of the ‘harmless’ comments about what I’m wearing – the not-so-subtle up and down looks I get if I make the mistake of showing a hint of cleavage. 

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Jana Hocking (above) has issued a blunt message to married women who are threatened by single females: ‘We do NOT want to f**k your husband’

I’m a chatty person. I like socialising with both blokes and women. This does not mean I’m trying to lure your hubby out of your tight grip. Good lord I’ve got my own single girl dramas to deal with. I haven’t the time to be chasing after married men.

This issue became abundantly clear to me a few years ago when I was on a work trip. I was the only girl on the team, and we were travelling interstate. A few days before we were set to leave one of the men on our team told us his wife would be coming as well. We all thought it was a bit strange as it was a busy trip with not much downtime.

Jump forward a few days and we’re interstate enjoying a boozy dinner following a hectic day. His wife ends up getting quite drunk and during a quick trip to the bathroom to freshen up she slurs at me ‘the only reason I’m on this trip is because I had to suss you out. I needed to know whether you’re the type of girl who would try and sleep with my husband’.

First of all, brutal. And secondly, offensive.

Now thankfully she realised that no, I’m not that ‘kind of girl’ and we ended up having a really fun trip. But since when did we single women all cop the scarlet letter?

Chatting with a friend about it recently, she admitted it’s the very reason she left her country town to live in a city. She watched all her friends get married and realised that she was no longer being invited to things. She’s a very attractive woman and suddenly she was on the outer. Do I think it’s because her married ‘friends’ felt threatened? Absolutely.

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‘Before I get flooded with angry messages from married women let me state, it’s not all women,’ says Jana

But here’s the thing… it’s not us you need to be worried it about. It’s your husband. Seriously, if you take a small scroll through my Instagram DMs you will find many married men trying to chat me up, or sending a d*ck pic, or saying something inappropriate beneath one of my pics. And I don’t think it’s because I’m anything special, I just think they want to see if they’ve ‘still got it’.

And these men aren’t particularly bright. They usually have a profile pic that features their partner or wife, and many ‘happy family’ photos on their insta page. 

If you’re feeling threatened, it’s not by us. I sense you’ve probably realised that your husband is a dud dude. Instead of treating us single girls like the plague, how about you address your insecurities with your man? Hey, some of them could be justified.

Before I get flooded with angry messages from married women let me state, it’s not all women. My best friend is married, and I’ve never had an issue with her. Why? Because she’s in a healthy marriage. Plus, she knows what a struggle it is being single in this modern day. She’s aware that I’m too busy trying to avoid the plague of Peter Pans and f-boys to even bother with her fella.

‘Instead of treating us single girls like the plague, how about you address your insecurities with your man? Hey, some of them could be justified,’ says Jana

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So stop thinking we see a wedding ring and think ‘challenge accepted’. To me, it’s more of a ‘deal breaker’.

And perhaps instead of avoiding us or giving us the cold shoulder, how about you start inviting your single female friends to your dinners, and other social events? We make great guests. Seriously, we can share outlandish tales of our most recent bad dates, remind you why you are lucky to be coupled up, and bring wine as our plus one.