Footy legend Shane Crawford cops a BRUTAL takedown after ‘clueless’ theatre performance

On the bright side, things can only get better for Shane Crawford after the AFL legend’s theatre debut was met with scathing reviews from critics.

Melbourne‘s theatre community lashed the casting of the former Hawthorn star as the jovial Pharaoh in the new production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, claiming that the decision denied budding actors of the opportunity.

And on Wednesday night Crawford was unable to provide a compelling rebuttal to that argument, with reviewers unimpressed by his flat performance on his theatre debut. 

Shane Crawford’s theatre debut has been absolutely lashed by critics in Melbourne’s papers

The Age’s Cameron Woodhead heaped plenty of praise on the production as a whole, but was damning of Crawford’s performance.

‘Whatever the hell Crawford is doing as the Pharaoh, it isn’t acting,’ he wrote.

‘The Pharaoh is supposed to be comic relief – a sort of ancient Egyptian Elvis impersonation – but Crawford can’t really hold a tune or wobble a seductive lip (or even find the right spot to stand, sometimes) and his clueless prancing resembles variety performance with a whiff of ritual humiliation about it.

‘Seriously, where’s Red Symons with a gong when you need him?

‘This is a new nadir for celebrity casting … and the sheer absence of talent Crawford displays is a bit embarrassing for everyone.’

The footy legend’s casting as the Pharaoh caused uproar in the theatre community this year

And he failed to silence his doubters, with critics describing his performance as ‘clueless’

Meanwhile, Tim Byrne of The Guardian gave the show four out of five stars but was far from impressed with Crawford’s ‘tone-deaf’ display.

‘Disappointment doesn’t begin to cover it. In a production where every performer is at the top of their game, Crawford’s blundering, tone-deaf turn as the Pharaoh is crushingly bad,’ he said.

‘Utterly devoid of stage presence, incapable of delivering a single line with flair or conviction, his addition to the production reads like a giant insult.’

The Herald Sun’s Nui Te Koha, however, was kinder to the Hawthorn legend, writing that he ‘made the most of the material and brought his natural charisma and broad likability to the role.

‘But sometimes his performance felt a little stiff. His voice and performance instincts are definitely up to the task, so here’s hoping Crawford finds more nuance, swag — and fun — in the Pharaoh, once he learns to relax and gains more confidence with the role.’