Melbourne swingers’ venue Kew’s Monkey Club shares its new entry rules

An elite swinger’s club that claims to be ‘Australia’s most exclusive’ has relaunched with new restrictions on age and size. 

The Kew’s Monkey Club in Melbourne, near the city’s elite private school belt, caused a storm last year when its rules were publicised online. 

The attention, which included anger at its size requirements, caused the people behind the club to hide the website.

However, the club has now launched a new website that describes it as being the best swingers’ club in the country. 

There are also a slew of new rules that people wishing to access the invite-only club will have to follow.

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The Kew’s Monkey Club in Melbourne, near the city’s elite private school belt, caused a storm last year when its rules were publicised online

It is now back with a bang and a new website that describes it as being the best swingers’ club in the country

Men have been warned that they must not have any ‘excess weight around the stomach area’ and must be ‘slim, athletic or muscular’. 

They must be aged between 21 and 35 and must send in a photo that will then be ‘screened’. 

For women, you must be within the 8-12 size range, as well as between 21 and 35 years of age. 

Both men and women are asked to submit photos with strict instructions that outlaw ‘breathing in’ and ‘sunglasses’. 

The website reads: ‘Accordingly, we need to see photos with the current day’s date on a piece of paper in your hand, face included. 

‘Please note we DO NOT accept photos with sunglasses on, nor do we accept enhanced or filtered photos (we want to see the real you). 

‘We do NOT expect you to be a supermodel!’

It claims to have attracted a high number of customers who fit its specifications. 

Men have been warned that they must not have any ‘excess weight around the stomach area’ and must be ‘slim, athletic or muscular’

A couple will have to pay $150 for one night at the club, while a single man will have to pay $180 and a single girl $80.

Participants are also warned: ‘As you are going to be in very intimate situations with other people, please make sure you shower just before coming to the party, not that morning! 

‘Please make sure your personal hygiene is 150%, this includes body odour, breath and genitals (Front & Back). Please note, anybody not adhering to the latter, will be asked to rectify or asked to leave.’

Men are also asked to dress ‘smart casual’, while women are warned not to dress in jeans and stick to a ‘little black number’ if in doubt.  

The website adds: ‘From the moment you arrive, you will see it is like the interior of a five star hotel.

‘Upon your arrival you will be given a guided tour of the venue, which is spread over two floors, and consists of mainly open plan play areas. 

‘The very seductive 5-star environment is furnished with imported furniture from the UK, France and Japan, and artwork from the four corners of the globe. 

There are beautiful king and queen sized beds throughout the play areas, and our infamous 1960s Austin Power’s style round bed, and so many other intriguing and erotic items too numerous to mention.

‘Once you have finished the tour, the next 1.5 to 2 hours is yours to unwind and get to know your fellow playmates (which also helps to calm any first time nerves you may experience… Don’t worry, nerves are completely normal!!)’