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Today is Brittany Higgins’ birthday. We spoke privately earlier and she consented for me to share the following words with you.
(This past week, I’ve been reflecting deeply following events that have jolted an already turbulent sector. For many within or near it, these may have cause re-traumatisation and/or fresh trauma.
Generally speaking, social media galleries are curated highlight reels which don’t reflect what happens most of the time offline.
For this reason I wondered whether it was appropriate to share these nuanced thoughts here, in this context.
It depresses me how flippantly the majority consumes disturbing news nowadays.
High-speed devices are simultaneously diminishing our collective attention spans, desensitising us to delicate content, and distorting our boundaries.
We’ve been conditioned to move so quickly from one focal point to another that it’s a wonder we are able to fully absorb anything at all. This is an increasingly artificial world we are living in.
So many constructs are being reengineered by the invisible arm of technology: time, personal space, common courtesy, speech patterns, and more.
The aftermath of shock in online spaces often feels like a virtual stampede that leaves its subjects alone in the dust.
I have seen this happen to Britt repeatedly.
I have seen Britt’s and others’ well-being assumed, and assumptions are typically a far cry from reality.
I am constantly weighing the flaw of social media against its benefits.
The voice of doubt is growing ever lounder, but it is almost impossible to reach the digitally dependent masses via any other means.
In such circumstances, who’s to say what is the right time or place?
All of us would seem to be damned if we do and damned if we don’t. I can only speak to my own experience, but I believe this clichéd yet very real dichotomy is amplified for people living in the spotlight – almost to the point of paralysis.
Exaggerated multidirectional pressure creates a paradoxical feeling of detached entrapment that can lead us to the brink of self destruction.)
Happy birthday, dear Brittany. Warrior. Human. My friend.
The first image is nothing like the reality of that day. It was anxiety, distress, exhaustion, invasion of personal space, and a quarter of an hour spent in the bathroom decompressing afterwards at dinner. It was tears.
The role is nothing like what it may appear to be at times. Such is the truth of public life behind the scenes, and of life in general: it is not glamorous. It is brutal. For every human being.
Over the past 18 months of getting to know Brittany Higgins personally, as a close friend, I have had the honour of seeing a side of her I rarely see in digital or print media. Let that be a lesson.
Every salacious article I see about my friend, I can’t help but take personally. I have to think carefully, and ask: what is the safest, most constructive course of action- as a friend, as an advocate, as an individual?
On the one hand, I feel duty bound to speak up, every time.
However, if I take the bait, I risk legitimising sensationalism or triggering further adversarial coverage which could harm both of us, and indeed the greater cause – even though our stories are very different and this distinction needs to be addressed and maintained.
Moreover, the news cycle will always outstrip any individual.
We have to hope and trust that most readers will think critically. Sadly, some do not.
A vocal minority engages in online gossip and disseminates disinformation and/or wilfully misrepresentative stereotypes.
This is why narrative and data have always been favoured tools of maintaining power and coercive control; both can easily be manipulated and widely spread.
Anyone who argues that words can’t cause serious damage has never been the target of an insidious nationwide character assassination campaign like Brittany has.
Over the past 18 months of getting to know Brittany Higgins, I have been moved by a person who is thoughtful and measured, who is reserved and self-effacing.
I have been awed and floored by intelligence, kindness, vulnerability and determination to keep fighting for herself and others in the face of prolonged layered injustice and heightened relentless criticism.
She has provided support, comfort and reinforcement for myself and others amid some of the darkest, loneliest times. She is indeed a light.
Awards and fleeting public recognition can be useful vehicles of change. However, they are not endpoints, goals, solutions or sources of pain relief. Sometimes, they are the opposite.
Almost six years I have been an activist. Less than one third of that time has been with a public platform. Less than one third.
And whilst I am so grateful for the voice I how have, there is no question that healing is so much harder to do with eyes watching your every move.
Let me be crystal clear, lest the media who I know scour my posts take my words out of context: this is not a complaint. This is a statement of fact.
There are those who love to love you for reflected glory and access.
There are those who love to hate you; who scrutinise, demean and moralise you at every given opportunity from the comfort of their armchairs or privileged paid positions.
They say it takes an army, and it certainly does, but at the end of the day it is you and you alone taking the bullets on the battlefield of your personal trauma.
While diverse voice face added layers of systemic disadvantage which we must collectively fight to dismantle, it is also a fact that any human being put themselves at risk if they choose to open up and share their story publicly.
One person’s suffering does not detract from another’s.
Vulnerability is truly the greatest strength.
We have a long way to go in reforming the broken binary principles that underpin both the legal system and the media complex.
We live in a society that disproportionately fawns over and forgives alleged and convicted abuse perpetrators; one that questions and demonises anyone who dares challenge the status quo. We are primed to live in fear.
We have a long way to go, but we will not give up.
Brittany Higgins has taken every step of her excruciating journey under a microscope; with a nation breathing down her neck. This is no mean feat.
I am not judge or jury, but I am a person who has also walked repeatedly in the line of fire – often alone – and it is not for the faint-hearted. I say this not as a point-scoring exercise but as another statement of fact.
However, it is not for this reason that I stand with Brittany. It is simply because she is a decent human being.
I stand with Brittany because I have compassion for her.
Brittany Higgins is a national hero.
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