EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Is Prince Andrew keeping Harry’s title safe?

Despite the ire of MPs who want King Charles to be given powers to remove Prince Harry‘s dukedom, a source advises that His Majesty doesn’t want it. He is aware that if he’s given the power to remove royal dukedoms, something that currently requires an Act of Parliament, he would come under immense pressure to remove the Duke of York title from his disgraced brother. As it stands, Andrew has caused comparatively few problems recently by keeping calm and not rocking the boat. Which is more than can be said for the royals lobbing grenades at the throne from Montecito.

Despite the ire of MPs who want King Charles to be given powers to remove Prince Harry’s dukedom, a source advises that His Majesty doesn’t want it

He is aware that if given the power to remove royal dukedoms, he would come under immense pressure to remove the Duke of York title from his brother, Andrew

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The treatment of Lady Susan Hussey has prompted calls in the gilded corridors for ladies-in-waiting, who serve in an unpaid honorary capacity, to be given the same protections as regular salaried staff. Under the palace’s respected human resources team, Hussey would not have been instantly exiled from palace life. An inquiry would have been launched into the conversation between Hussey and Ngozi Fulani. The wellbeing of an 83-year-old woman who spent 62 years as confidante to the late Queen – and who has known no other way of life – should have been as much an HR priority as was dealing with Ms Fulani’s complaint.

The treatment of Lady Susan Hussey has prompted calls in the gilded corridors for ladies-in-waiting to be given the same protections as regular salaried staff

Promoting her Yellowstone prequel series 1923, Dame Helen Mirren, pictured, defends her decision to play character Cara Dutton with a dodgy sounding Irish accent. ‘One of the things I very strongly wanted was that she would speak with an Irish accent, not with an American accent,’ announces Essex-raised Mirren. Doesn’t she sound suspiciously like her former lover, Ballymena-born Liam Neeson, who surely knew his erse from his elbow when they stepped out in the Eighties?

Promoting her Yellowstone prequel series 1923, Dame Helen Mirren (pictured) defends her decision to play character Cara Dutton with a dodgy sounding Irish accent

Frank Skinner yearns for a return to the showbiz era when TV personalities didn’t all have their teeth straightened and whitened. ‘Those were the days,’ the comedian tells a podcast. ‘Now all we’ve got is Mary Beard and Simon Schama and me, the only ones allowed to have decaying teeth… as the Roman ruins in Britain were allowed to decay after their exit.’ In the unlikely event that Dame Mary sends Frank a festive card, the message should read: ‘Speak for yourself, Skinner!’

Expressing sorrow on Desert Island Discs about the damage that his 1975 blockbuster did to real-life sharks, Steven Spielberg’s mechanical version was naughtily nicknamed Bruce by crew members after the director’s lawyer Bruce Ramer. But Spielberg had his own description for the malfunctioning fish: ‘The great white turd.’

In her theatrical audience with Gyles Brandreth, Dame Judi Dench recounts the latest adventure of her mischievous parrot Sweetheart. ‘I was talking to my nephew and my parrot suddenly said ‘Drop your trousers’.’ Shouldn’t Dame Judi jettison Gyles and go on the road touring with Sweetheart