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She dated him in college and lost her virginity to him at age 22.
Now Brooke Shields is reflecting on her relationship with actor Dean Cain and her regrets at not being able to enjoy the present moment with him.
Speaking with People, Brooke, 57, admitted she apologized to the Lois & Clark actor, 56, several years ago.
The Blue Lagoon star said she felt ‘paralyzed from shame’ during their relationship and feared letting down fans after admitting to being a virgin at age 20.
She admitted her role in their relationship: ‘I did not make it easy.’
‘I did not make it easy’: Brooke Shields is reflecting on her relationship with actor Dean Cain and her regrets at not being able to enjoy the present moment with him
Brooke, who was sexualized as a young actress and heavily objectified, recalled the wonderful time they shared together and the insecurities she suffered at the time.
‘We had a great relationship, broke up, got back together again after three years. And that should have been a delicious time for me of reveling in it and feeling proud and free because I was in love,’ she said.
‘But it was as if I was just paralyzed from shame, thinking everybody was going to know, thinking of letting my fans down because I had professed one thing.’
‘He just was so loyal and loving and just so in love. And I did not make it easy,’ she explained.
Several years ago, Brooke apologized to Cain.
‘I said, “I’m sorry for you, and I’m really sorry for me,”‘ she recalled.
Brookes will be recounting her life in the upcoming two-part documentary Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields.
In it, she reflects on her harrowing rape.
‘I was just paralyzed from shame’: Brooke, who was sexualized as a young actress and heavily objectified, recalled the wonderful time they shared together and the insecurities she suffered at the time
‘Doing the documentary, you see it all together, and it’s a miracle that I survived,’ the New Yorker said in her People cover story – on newsstands this Friday.
In the documentary, Brooke revealed she was sexually assaulted during the ‘lowest point of my career’ shortly after earning a degree in French literature from Princeton University in 1987.
Shields had just had dinner with a Hollywood executive about a potential movie role when he invited her to his hotel room to call a cab and that’s when he pounced on her.
‘I didn’t fight. I just froze,’ the two-time Golden Globe nominee recalled.
‘I kept saying, “I shouldn’t have done that. Why did I go up with him? I shouldn’t have had that drink at dinner.”‘
‘I said, “I’m sorry for you, and I’m really sorry for me”‘: Shields recently apologized to her ex; pictured Sunday
Brooke continued: ‘It was really easy to disassociate because by then it was old hat. And because it was a fight-or-flight type of choice. Fight was not an option, so you just leave your body. “You’re not there. It didn’t happen.”‘
Shields always had a sense of disassociation from her body and sexuality: ‘It was just easier to shut myself off. I was good at it.’
The Holiday Harmony actress didn’t think anyone would believe her since this was way before the #MeToo movement and ‘people weren’t believing those stories back then. I thought I would never work again.’
Brooke – who’s ‘more angry now than I was able to be then’ – only told one person about the assault at the time, her close friend and one-time security consultant Gavin de Becker.
‘Brooke lived so long in the judgment of others, by the millions, so it was heartbreaking to see her judge herself,’ Becker confirmed.
Icon: Shields pictured at the premiere of Biloxi Blues in 1988
‘She’s more than survived, she thrived, and became this wise, beautiful spirit who helped so many people through her honesty and courage.’
Shields’ two teenage daughters – Rowan Francis, 19; and Grier Hammond, turning 17 next month – pointed out how adults play teenagers in sexually-charged shows like Euphoria today.
‘I was sticking up for my mom [Teri Shields] to my girls,’ the Beginning Is Now founder explained.
‘Then my daughter turned it around on me, and said, “Well would you let me do [those kinds of roles in Pretty Baby and the Blue Lagoon]?” And I thought that was such a telling thing. It made me face the unfairness of it more honestly than I think I could ever afford to emotionally at the time.
‘And I was so shut off that I didn’t even really know to be uncomfortable. I didn’t have that “Oh something’s not right” or “this feels creepy.” I would just forget about it the minute a scene would be over. I’d make a funny face or affirm it was not real life. I think that protected me but it also helped me stay the queen of denial.’
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