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Narcissists had their ‘year in the sun’ in 2022, according to Politico magazine – which named Meghan Markle, Donald Trump, Kanye West, Elizabeth Holmes and Sam Bankman-Fried among some of the worst offenders from the past 12 months. 

But how can we spot partners, friends or colleagues who have this self-centered personality style

Dr Greg Kushnick, a New York-based psychologist who doesn’t endorse Politico’s views, revealed to DailyMail.com 10 traits that narcissists typically display and the best ways of handling such characters. 

From a lack of empathy to a preoccupation with their own talents, read on for Dr Kushnik’s narcissistic telltale signs…

Dr Greg Kushnick, a New York-based psychologist revealed to DailyMail.com 10 traits that narcissists typically display and the best ways of handling such characters (stock image)

Dr Greg Kushnick, a New York-based psychologist revealed to DailyMail.com 10 traits that narcissists typically display and the best ways of handling such characters (stock image)

1. An obsession with power and success 

Many narcissistic people are obsessed with gaining power and success. They seem like they will do anything to get ahead and they will have no qualms about hurting people in the process. Typically they will try and control others for their personal gain. They might employ unethical tactics to get what they want, by lying or cutting corners.

2. A need for admiration 

Like peacocks, some narcissists will strut around in a bid to get admiration and attention from others and they have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They might demonstrate a range of attention seeking behaviors in order to get the attention they think they feel they deserve or need. It could involve everything from wearing expensive attire to driving a flashy sportscar. The attention helps hide their actual fears of not being good enough or undesirable. However, there are just as many covert narcissists as there are overt narcissists. Surprisingly, there are just as many narcissists who are not out there in the public spotlight. They suffer behind closed doors. 

HOW TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSIST 

Dr Greg Kushnick is a New York-based psychologist

Dr Greg Kushnick is a New York-based psychologist

Dr Kushnick serves up three suggestions around coping with a narcissist both on the personal and professional front:  

Know thyself 

Learn what really matters to you – your values, interests and opinions. This will allow you to notice when a narcissist is questioning your reality or trying to make you doubt yourself. More importantly, know your worth so it can’t be questioned. Therapy is a great way to achieve greater self-awareness and learn what really matters to you.

Learn your boundaries

Know your limits and learn to recognize when your limits are being ignored or questioned. Decide what you’re willing to do and what is considered unacceptable. Knowing your boundaries allows you to stand by your limits and not feel guilty or self- doubting when a narcissist takes advantage of you or pushes things to an uncomfortable place.

Don’t share feelings 

Avoid sharing your feelings with a narcissist. They will view that as weakness and ignore the point you’re trying to make. Speak from a place of choice. Instead of saying, ‘I feel hurt and sad because you keep putting me down so I have to protect myself and pull back,’ take the feeling out of it. Instead, declare, ‘I choose to distance myself from you. It’s not working for me.’

3. Instilling self-doubt  

Narcissistic individuals tend to use self-doubt as a weapon. They will question or criticize you to make you doubt yourself, which gives them power over you. The biggest thing that they do is to play on your insecurities and weaknesses. They will take note of things you mention, whether it’s an insecurity about your weight or your performance at work, and play on this at a later date to belittle you. 

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4. Lacking empathy   

Narcissistic people lack empathy for others and they have trouble connecting to other people’s situations. It really is the case of simply not caring, especially if someone’s thoughts or feelings do not match their own. This can be scary to witness as they will refuse to understand, listen or be there to support the other party. 

5. It’s all about them  

If you share a story or comment around a narcissist, they will do their best to make the whole thing all about themselves. This self-referential behavior is another form of control and attention seeking. It can be very tiring as it is almost impossible to get a word in edgeways once they have taken control of the conversation.

6. A habit of gaslighting 

If you get to know a narcissist well, especially in the context of a romantic relationship, they might make a habit of gaslighting you, which involves bullying you into questioning your own reality, and wondering if you’re losing your sanity. This is achieved by constantly challenging your version of the truth, distorting facts and creating a false narrative.

7. A sense of entitlement  

People with narcissistic traits believe they deserve special treatment and they are preoccupied with their own talents, which they tend to over-celebrate. They have a strong self-belief that they are more important and better than others. This can be intimidating.

8. They’re always right 

Narcissistic people love to make others wrong. They like to be right. They freely judge others, especially when they feel challenged or one-upped. If you’re in a relationship with this person, it can make you feel bad about yourself and impact your self image, as you will feel like you’re always in the wrong. 

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9. They’re skilled at ‘future faking’ 

In relationships, narcissists often engage in future faking. They promise the world to you after knowing them for a short time. They convince you that you will travel the world together or some other unbelievable promise, but eventually you get mic dropped. They suddenly leave when you were just naming your children with them. In other words, they say whatever they need to say to get you hooked on them and the relationship, but it doesn’t end well.

10. It’s all take, take, take 

If you’re a co-worker, friend or lover with a narcissist you will find that you are constantly serving their needs with limited or no reciprocity. Being in a relationship with a narcissist can therefore be a particularly thankless task. You might offer emotional support or shower them with gifts but don’t expect anything in return. The narcissist will take, take, take without stopping to say thank you. 

If you enjoyed reading this article… 

Memo to Meghan: From a writer banished by her father-in-law for being ‘unspeakably vulgar’… Letting your husband take your side against his family never ends well

Does your partner ALWAYS have to take centre stage? Body language expert reveals six signs your dating a narcissist 

Princess Diana told her confidante Richard Kay it was his ‘duty’ to learn more about Dodi Fayed’s background and his use of cocaine 

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